Valentines

So today valentines hit us like a tonne of bricks, luckily I work in Selfridges so they didn’t shove it in my face or anything….But I am very lucky to have a boyfriend who could come all the way down for the week before.  So with this year being our first ever valentines we decided to hang out in London and keep it as stress free as possible.  However as every girl knows (and every guy ignores) valentines is in no way stress free.  A dress for the night, hair dye that of course I have avoided since the last time I saw him, nails, tanning, eyebrows and the ever daunting waxing.  Waxing being the topic that girls bond over instantly I decided to bring it up at work and see if anyone else lives in fear as much as I do...confirmed...

...My horror story to date is one I was told when I was 17 about a friend of a friend who was asked to get on all fours for the duration of her session.  Now, I know from a few people that this is completely normal but if anything it fills me with the crippling fear of the phrase ‘could you get on your hands and knees’ being uttered by a woman I have never met holding a wooden stick covered in burning liquid.  How on earth she handled that situation and walked out with her head held high gives me some hope.

So onto my awkward question…what would you do in this situation, do you keep chatting as you turn over with your ass in the air?

Dhiann x

National Cliche?

Now I know I am not the only Scottish person in the whole of London, but there are a few scenarios I find myself in where people notice my store thumb of an accent.  I never once found this a problem until 2 weeks ago whilst on the phone to a girl from London who asked me to hang up and call back later because she could not understand my accent…which I did and ranted about it to anyone who would pretend to listen.  So, I have started to ponder when someone’s nationality would actually have its draw backs in London.  I can't even wear my tartan scarf without the fear of bagpipes coming round the corner.  For such a long time I have wanted to buy the Alexander McQueen tartan puffball dress, but now I am faced with the dilema of being a walking cliché.  What to do when I (hopefully) get a compliment, should I smile politely and move on or say in my over the top accent “auuchhh thannnkssss” and go on to bullshit about how it is my family tartan?

Are nationality clichés okay?

Dhiann x

Dare to bare

With London fashion week coming up I have been wondering what celebs I am going to spot on my travels.  And with the likeliness of actually spotting at least one in Selfridges I am dreading the moment I do and blurt out a cringey curiosity regarding their lives.  For the past year or so I have been increasingly suspicious as to one trend that only seems to phase the non celebs of the world…going bra-less in public.  Until only yesterday I assumed every girl was nervous of this bravery and would only ever dare when she became famous and ‘comfortable within her skin’...

...But as per socially usual I stand corrected when a friend answered my dare to bare question with ‘I go bra-less all the time, whenever I can’.  Now don’t get me wrong, when I’m in my flat or popping over to the shop I will dare (providing I have many a layer on and stand crossed armed in an attempt to fool everyone that I have cleavage) but ask me to do this down oxford street and I will spiral into my cringe zone.  What happens if I’m on the underground and the window is open? Or my bus decides to go the bumpy route home?  Do I pretend like I don’t notice the obvious natural reactions or do I turn and face the wall for the rest of the journey….

So I post this question to you; who else dares to bare outwith their comfort zone and how on earth did they brave it?

Dhiann x

The day i died

So, to date Tuesday was the most terrifying day of my entire life.  Does everyone remember the song ‘the day I died’ by just jack?  Well that song happened to me.  On a typical day I will get up late, miss the bus that just pulled away, convince myself I can get to the underground in under 4 minutes, dinosaur run past everyone on the underground (whilst saying sorry to every person that knocks me over and pushes my head into the handles) and eventually show up at either class or work looking like an out of action Paula Radcliff post marathon.  But Tuesday was the strangest day, I naturally woke up at 8am, got the last boost in the vending machine (such a personal victory), made the bus which was sitting waiting, made both trains on the underground including bagging an empty seat and breezed into work casually…

…Now to me a day this pleasant and easy means only one thing – it’s my last day on earth.  So for the rest of the day I found myself holding onto hand rails with both hands, triple checking the roads with the green man and I even stayed up until 12.30am just to make sure I didn’t die in my sleep.  That can't be a good sign, how do you become so prone to accidents and general nightmares of days that an easy day must spell doom? And the worst part of this entire scenario, other than the just jack soundtrack to the day, was the main thought that haunted me: “I am going to die today and I haven’t shaved my legs in weeks”…mared it.     

Dhiann x

what if situations

So I created ‘what if situations’ as an outlet for my socially awkward stories, questions and curiosities.  A place where I could talk about my weekly embarrassments and invite others to share their experiences and awkward questions...